Over the summer, we were forced to transport our little monsters on several road trips. Since I'm still having flashbacks to these disasters, I thought I would put together a little survival guide for all my fellow mamas out there. Because let's be honest....fall break is right around the corner.
Survival Tip #1 : Stay at home. Seriously. You will be happier, your bank account will be larger, and you can avoid all. the. screaming.
(Yours AND theirs, obvi.)
Survival Tip #2: (Since I know y'all are all like, whatever Sherri, It's just a few hours in the car. No biggie).
(Insert high-pitched, slightly psychotic giggling.)
Bring enough DVD's to last at least 3 times as long as Waze estimates for your travel time. Don't have a DVD player in your car? Install one.
Yes, I am serious. You'll thank me later.
Survival Tip #3: Along with ALL THE DVD's IN ALL THE WORLD, bring your iPad, a backup, a portable DVD player, your laptop, and a spare iPhone. Take every technology "rule" you possess, and throw them out the freaking window. This is a SURVIVAL GUIDE.
(While you're at it, toss your mom guilt out the window too. Hey, at least your baby isn't laying in the back of a station wagon without any kind of seatbelt. #winning)
Survival Tip #4: GET YOUR SNACK ON. Like, take every snack in your pantry and put it in your car. When your kids inevitably start complaining/whining/bargaining/arguing, stuff something delicious in their mouths. They'll forget what they were saying for at least 2 minutes. At which point, you REPEAT THIS STRATEGY. For 5 hours if you have to.
(Remember, you already said bye, felicia to your mom guilt. Stuff some of that deliciousness in your mouth while you're at it. You deserve it.)
Survival Tip #5 : When you are about 30 minutes out from your destination, Instacart or Postmates yourself some wine. And chocolate. Don't forget to declare it bedtime no matter what time you arrive. 3:30pm? Of course I love my kids, but....Put on your pajamas, angels! We're on beach/mountain/mommy needs some peace and quiet time....however you want to play it.
Congratulations! You made it....at least until the trip back home.