The moment's here. You know, the one we've all been dreading/anxiously praying for.
It's back to school time, y'all!!! Some moms are great about being organized and on point during the summer, all while making magical memories with their kiddos, and carpe-ing the heck outta every diem.
I think we all know I'm not one of those moms.
I, for one, am looking forward to NOT having someone ask me for a snack every 15 minutes. Or inquiring as to which fun, exciting thing we're doing this afternoon.
(Hi children? Have we met? Your fun activity is watching mommy do laundry today. a.k.a. independent playtime that involves learning to fold your own clothes. You're welcome, darling offspring.)
As much as we love the school year though, there are a few aspects that I very decidedly UNLOVE.
1. Summer reading and math packets.
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL because I just. CAN'T. First of all, let's call this what it is. It's HOMEWORK. During the SUMMER. Which is wrong on so many levels, not the least of which is the way I will forget all about it until the night before school starts.
2. Buying new uniforms
Yes. Because you KNOW your 7 year old grew two freaking sizes in the last month. And her size 7 uniform is now a miniskirt. (Disclaimer : I would much rather have a uniform situation than a daily argument about how the t-shirt I bought her is JUST SO EMBARRASSING, and how her new skirt MAKES HER SKIN ALL SCRATCHY. Also, can computers start including emojis on the keyboard? Because I would really appreciate having access to that eye roll emoji right about now.)
3. Purchasing school supplies
No. Just NO. Why do I have to go into Target, weed through the two packs of crayons and random assortment of glue sticks to try and put together a decent school supply packet? Besides, we all know Target is for buying things that we don't NEED. And school supplies just do not fall into that category.
You know who I love? THE SAINTS ON AMAZON SELLING BUNDLED SCHOOL SUPPLIES.
4. The carpool line
DEAR LORD, THE CARPOOL LINE. Because you KNOW some people won't actually watch the informational carpool video, and will do it ALL WRONG. And by some people, I mean me. I just wish uber for kids existed, and also that it wouldn't be totally sketchy to use it.
5. The early morning wakeups
Listen. I know that in the summer, I only get an average of 30 minutes more sleep. But it's STILL 30 MORE MINUTES. And usually, when I wake up, you won't find me repeatedly shouting things like :
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAD HOMEWORK?!
NO YOU CAN'T TAKE YOUR PET GRASSHOPPER TO CLASS.
I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO BRUSH YOUR HAIR EVER AGAIN, BUT DREADLOCKS AREN'T PART OF THE DRESS CODE. (Unfortunately.)
It's all good though. Because now I have 8 extra hours a day to do things like buy embarrassing shirts and school supplies.
(Pretend this is an eye roll emoji)