Posts in #MomLife
amazon and appendicitis

Well, sometimes you plan to have all kinds of great holiday content pre-planned and ready to go the moment Black Friday hits. You just KNOW you’ll be super organized and on top of it, JUST LIKE ALWAYS AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING LIKE THAT?

#rude #butalsoaccurate

My goal was to plan content for the entire month of December, well in advance. And by “well in advance,” I mean November 29th, because apparently I DO NOT understand my actual personality or my organizational capabilities.

But, as The People Who Make Up Cheesy Quotes once said, Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. And I’d just like to rephrase that in a way that feels more authentic:

Appendicitis is what happens WHEN YOU’RE BUSY MAKING PLANS. x

Read More
last minute costume ideas

Sometimes you wanna Pinterest up an amazing, creative Halloween costume that impresses all of Instagram, I mean, YOUR SWEET CHILDREN, who, have apparently "always wanted a fun mom that dresses up for Halloween."

Good to know.

But then, other times you just wanna justify those new moto boots you bought. Or that camo jacket you’ve been eyeing. Or the red ringmaster coat that a certain someone said was too “extra,” but you just KNEW that one day there would be a highly popular movie about a musically gifted dreamer who opens his own circus. Or ya know. Something like that.

Read More
dressing daughters

...is the worst. The end

Just kidding. Mostly. But I'll bet some of you #girlmoms will relate so hard to this post. When our daughters were babies and toddlers, it was REALLY FUN to dress them, right? Whether you were into smocking or skinny jeans, cold shoulder shirts or big bows, it's like playing dress up with a cute doll. One who cries, poops, and throws tantrums. yes. But a doll who will at least wear what the heck you spend your cash money on, because DOESN'T SHE KNOW PEOPLE PAY YOU TO DO THIS??. A-HEM.

Read More
adoption

The other day, while visiting my mom and dad, and my mom whips out a cake and says, HAPPY ADOPTION BIRTHDAY! Which I had completely forgotten, because children have sucked all of my brains out like little zombie people. But you'd better believe I"ll take any excuse I can find to celebrate a birthday. I also had a couple of epiphanies (because I'm fancy and say words like EPIPHANY): 

1. I am now 26 years old, and it would be RUDE TO ARGUE. 

Read More
mama's day

I have to start this post with a disclaimer. I know Mother's Day is hard for some of y'all. And for you, I wish I could reach through this computer and give you your OWN DANG mother's day gift. You deserve it. Because you've had to do the hardest work of all. You've had to deal with grief. Or loss. Or maybe you've had to learn to be a mother, when you never had a great example from which to learn. And you are badasses. All of you.

Read More
spring cleaning top 5

Spring cleaning is so fun! It's just my favorite! 

Said NO ONE EVER. If anything, hoarding is more my favorite than spring cleaning. 

I used to have people tricked into thinking I was extremely organized. All you had to do was come to my house, and stay ONLY in the living room. And not open any drawers. Or cabinets. Or the coat closet. Unless you wanted to be subject to my secret hoarding shame.

And I don't know how many of you can relate, but the mere IDEA of buckling down and organizing basically any part of my house, had me needing a break. Because (*Kim K voice) this is exhausting. 

Read More
momchella

I feel like social media is currently bombarding me with images of cute girls in their crop tops, allll the fringe, and flower crowns galore. Because Coachella, y'all.

I always get a little jealous of these girls, and their 20 year old abs. Not to mention, their ability to stay awake past 9pm, and the aforementioned fringe. When I start feeling TOO envious though, I take a minute to remember that I would actually HATE Coachella. It's loud, late, hot, dirty, and, again, CROP TOPS. 

Read More
spring break : do's and don'ts

It's that time again, friends. The time where we say BLESS OUR HEARTS and WE CAN (possibly) DO THIS.  

It's spring break, y'all.  

Spring break USED TO mean that I would throw my cutest bathing suits into an overstuffed duffel bag, pile into someone's mom's minivan, and drive 12 hours straight to Miami. Because COLLEGE.

Read More
dear boy moms

dear boy moms,

I get it. 

I. GET. IT. 

I'll be totally honest, I was team girl ALL THE WAY after having Ally Grace. She and I have always had a special bond, and I kept thinking how amazing it would be to have nothing but daughters. Because we would obviously spend our time shopping, getting our nails done, and talking about boys. (I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Duh.)

Read More