Lean in close and get ready to be shocked y’all. I get botox. I know, I know. You HAD NO IDEA. I basically showed up at my doctor's office THE VERY DAY I stopped nursing Bo, and was all MAMA NEEDS SOME BOTOX STAT! (Doctors love it when you use medical jargon like stat. About as much as when you tell them you WebMD-ed your symptoms and diagnosed yourself.)
Anyway, way back when I was significantly younger (and more annoying), I was all, I’LL NEVER DO BOTOX. I WILL AGE GRACEFULLY AND BE THANKFUL FOR MY WRINKLES.
But you know what will make you change your tune on Botox, real quick?
When you actually start aging.
And I’m not talking to those of you who ARE managing to do it gracefully (although I absolutely want to know your secrets). I’m talking to people like me, who feel as if they are aging like a troll person.
Recently, my good friends at Crispin Plastic Surgery offered to give me a Botox treatment, so I could share my experience with you. A little "tips and tricks" list, if you will. Because if ever there’s a place to confirm that I’ve decided NOT to age with natural grace, it’s right here on the world wide web.
(I’m also sharing a discount & giveaway so make sure you read all the way down to the bottom.)
Sherri’s Extremely Professional and Scientific Thoughts on Botox :
1. You will not look like a Kardashian. Or a real Housewife. Unless you just want to, in which case, no judgement here. Go get ya Kim K on.
2. It DOES NOT HURT. I promise. And I have the embarrassingly low pain tolerance of an actual baby. If I can do this, anyone can. (*You can also request some numbing prior to the procedure, which I honestly almost never do.)
3. You will LOVE your results. Which means that it WILL become part of your maintenance routine. Go ahead and start deciding which one of your children will get to attend college.
4. It’s not permanent, and you will probably want to be touched up every 3-6 months, depending on your individual response to the botox. In either scenario, you can achieve fantastic results. I personally go every 3 months, because who needs to be able to show facial expressions? I can still give the dreaded "mom look," so we’re all good.
5. You do NOT have to wait until you’re on your SECOND 39th birthday, contrary to popular belief. In fact, many women are now starting the treatment as early as their mid-twenties, in order to prevent (ish) the deep crevasses that I had developed, pre-Botox.
6. It is a bit of an investment. At Crispin Plastic Surgery, 1 vial is $450. On my last visit, I needed 1.5 vials. (But remember. I prefer the frozen face look, ahem.)
It will be approximately a week before you see your final results. I learned this the hard way, after rashly declaring my face without hope. So be a tiny bit patient, and give it a week.
Disclaimer: I know and understand that Botox is a luxury and not a necessity. And I know that it isn’t for everybody, and that is OKAY. I completely support those of you who want to age gracefully. (I also need to know your skincare routine, and basically need you to mentor me in all your ways.)
For those of you who ARE interested trying Botox, I'm partnering with Crispin Plastic Surgery to giveaway a FREE BOTOX TREATMENT over on my IG (@sherridickens). Dr. Crispin and his team are also offering $100 off your treatment, if you call and mention Sherri Dickens OR Rage Against the Mom Jean. And as we all know by now, a discount means that it’s free and CLEARLY YOU HAD TO DO IT. JOHN.
Until next time,