the big five

Let's be honest guys, there are WAY MORE than 5 things from the Anniversary Sale that I LOVE AND ADORE AND WANT TO COME LIVE WITH ME FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER. 

(Because I am obviously excited about the #nsale at what is a completely normal and emotionally stable level.)

Despite being the worst at narrowing down a list, for you guys, I can do it. I came up with FIVE. Five things that are probably selling out as I type these words. I'm looking at you Rag & Bone circle bag that was in my cart on it's merry little way to checkout, and THEN GOT STOLEN FROM ME by Super Speedy Susan, who was more organized, quicker with her card, and who is also fake but it helps me to blame someone, okay?  #actlikeitsnormal

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early access : round one

I (and every other blogger on Instagram) enjoy referring to Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale as "Christmas in July." 

(John enjoys referring to it as THINGS I CAN'T REPEAT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN. He's adorable like that.) 

Shopping the sale isn't hard y'all. Figuring out which one of your kids still gets to attend college is the hard part.

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the squad

Disclaimer: this is not the entire squad, and I KNOW I'm missing some people. But it's hard to find pictures when you have 37,000 selfies saved in your phone. And also when you're lazy.  For everyone on my squad, you know who you are...and I love you like crazy.

I know what you're thinking, and the answer is YES. I DO have friends who are really annoyingly pretty. If I didn't love them so much, I would slip 'em Kalteen bars on the reg.

I sit here writing this on what is one of my mom fail-iest of days, and that's NOT including the day I wore my pants backwards to pick Bo up from school. 

(Which may or may not have happened more than once, if we're being honest.)

And it's on days like today that I am so grateful for my squad. You know, your girlfriends who just get it. They get that motherhood is both hard and wonderful. They get that you can be tired and yet unable to sleep. They get that you love your kids fiercely, even though you aren't ALWAYS a shining example of #momgoals. 

I hope and pray that each one of you are lucky enough to have your own girl squad, and let me just tell you that if I knew you IRL, I'd invite myself onto it in a hot minute. (Let's act like I wasn't gonna do that anyway, except that I am TOTALLY gonna do that anyway.)

Here are the friends you're gonna find on your squad. I know this, because they are all on mine. Again, y'all know who you are. Some of you are more than one of these. And this one's for you. 

1. The friend who tells you straight up that the balloon sword your kid made you looks like a giant penis.

2. The friend who recognizes that you are on your last available nerve, and asks what time she should bring dinner to your house that night. 

3. The friend who sees your postpartum depression before you can admit that you're struggling, comes over to make an attack plan, and helps you TAKE THAT MOTHER DOWN. 

4. The friend you call when your kid has a rash or a weird bump, so she can talk you down off the ledge (and also off of WebMD).

5. The wise and patient friend, who listens to your venting without taking a side. And then sometimes even helps you see that you were MAYBE, POSSIBLY, I ADMIT NOTHING-Y wrong.

6. The friend who encourages you in your goals and ambitions, and reminds you that it's MORE THAN OKAY to have a career that you love, or even just some time for yourself. 

7.  The friend who will take your kid home with them during a family emergency, no questions asked, for as long as you need. 

8. The friend who just knows stuff. The best pediatrician in town, how to get barf out of a sisal rug, and how to trick your kids into eating foods that aren't granola bars. 

9. The friend who matches your sarcasm with some of her own, and makes you laugh when you need it most.

10. The friend you don't see enough, but when you do, it's like you haven't spent a minute apart.

11. The friend who will drag you out of your house for a girls night, and force alcohol down your throat. But, ya know. In a friendly and respectful way.

12. The friend that you absolutely cannot shock, because they love you more than you know. They also live in a judgement-free zone. (This is probably also the friend who will force alcohol down your throat when you need it.)

When I think back to the days when I was pregnant with AG, my biggest emotion was a general sense of straight up terror.  See, I wasn't one of those "can I hold your baby" girls, and I definitely had never changed a diaper. So, when I say motherhood didn't come naturally, that's what we refer to as a MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT.

But I will tell you this. It's a heckuva lot easier with my squad. You need them. And they need you.

And go ahead and put me in the lineup. I'll be the friend that makes you feel better about your mom-ing by telling you that I accidentally flaked on Bo's Muffins with Moms. #notmomgoalsAF

You're welcome. 

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