best swimsuits under $35

Back in my pre-M&M diet days

Well, we’re almost to the special time of year that I like to call “Regretting Who You Were the Last 3 Months.”

In other words, it’s Swimsuit Time, y’all. And by “Swimsuit Time,” what I really mean is “stuff yourself into uncomfortable pieces of spandex under florescent lighting, while simultaneously cursing the steady stream of peanut butter M&Ms you fed yourself all winter” Time.

I despise buying bathing suits. I hate trying them on in the Worst Lighting Possible. I hate the way one piece suits make me look like I’m wearing an actual diaper, yet STILL somehow manage to showcase all my flaws. And I hate the way two-pieces make me look like a middle aged lady who has definitely had children come out of her body. Even though that’s exactly what I am. MINOR DETAILS.

Most of all, though, I hate the way my body is a diva, and refuses to look decent in suits that cost less than a jillion dollars. RUDE. But, once again, AMAZON TO THE FREAKING RESCUE, people. I have managed to find not one, not TWO, but FOURTEEN swimsuits that are AFFORDABLE, yet ALSO FLATTERING. Which means, I have located swimsuit unicorns. You’re welcome. I have actually tried each one on my actual body. And I ACTUALLY didn’t want to rip them off in horror. (And I ACTUALLY say actually too much.)

Here’s the best part: when I say affordable, I mean that they are ALL UNDER $35 cash money. And I know what you’re thinking: But Sherri, “affordable” suits usually end up being see through the moment they touch anything resembling a body of water. Which is exactly why I ordered them all. For “research.” Not for giving John 3 heart attacks upon seeing the number of Amazon boxes stacked outside our house.

Ahem.

Let me know what you think, and feel free to head on over to my RATMJ Amazon storefront, where I’ve pulled even more ridiculously cute reasons to give your husband a heart attack of his own.

click each image to shop OR head to my RATMJ Amazon storefront

*Disclaimer, I know we are all supposed to love and embrace our bodies the way they are. And I’m trying. Really I am. But, it’s a process. Full disclosure, I’ve always had a hard time embracing the way I feel in a bathing suit. Regardless of my size or shape, or how I actually look, I still feel uncomfortable. And pinched in all the wrong places. I’m trying to take that insecurity and kick it in the teeth. I plan to get down in the sand to play with my kids, without putting on a coverup first, because they could care LESS how much cellulite I have (a lot), or whether my thighs touch. (They do.) And I’ll be doing it in these bathing suits. (Well, I mean not ALL of them. Let’s not give John a total panic attack, okay?)

Tell me which swimsuit YOU would feel the most confident in! And if you’d rather swim in your jeans than wear any of these, you can tell me that too.

Plus, I’m pretty sure that if a bathing suit is under $35, then it’s actually free. #sherrimathFTW (Raise your hand if you saw that one coming.)

Until next time,