“Coronaversary” Sale 2020 | Sherri's Sale Picks
Officially back in the olden days, when I used to wear shoes and leave my house. But y’all? If you DO decide to wear shoes this year? White booties are STILL a thing, and I’m more in love than ever! Check out sale boots > HERE.
Hey y’all! You didn't think I’d leave ya hanging this Anniversary Sale, did you?? (and please just ignore the fact that this is my first blog in 2020, mkay?) I sort of expected my 40th year on earth to be a total dumpster fire, but that’s another blog in and of itself. But just let me say, um hi, 2020? YOU CAN GO AWAY NOW. Also, I miss you, 2019. And you weren’t even all that amazing. But seriously, come backkkkkkk,
Anyone else essentially living inside sweatpants and a Netflix binge? And ignoring everything besides Kinder Buenos? If so, you are my people. If not, come be my life coach please. Regardless of where you fall on the Sweatpants to Productive Human spectrum, I love you guys. I’ve missed you, and I’m baaaaaaack…..(Oprah voice) “YOU GET AN ANNIVERSARY SALE POST! AND YOU GET AN ANNIVERSARY SALE POST!”
Even in the best of times, shopping could be my emotional support animal. But in the middle of an actual worldwide pandemic? Well, let’s just say #quarantinemath combined with #sherrimath combined with #anniversarysalemath? Multiplied by the fact that we are STIMULATING THE ECONOMY? I’m now unstoppable. Muahahahahaha *wink (John says winking doesn’t make it true. But it also doesn’t not. #amiright #sherrimath #wink.)
Anyway, I started getting messages a couple of weeks ago, because some of y’all were surprised by my uncharacteristic lack of super annoying #NSALE posts. Initially, I was super flattered that y’all even noticed! But suddenly, shocked and disturbed, I realized, (whispers) I had zero idea the Anniversary Sale was even happening. I actually missed the first few days of early access, which should honestly tell you all you need to know about how I'm doing during quarantine.
(*Channels inner Dorinda) NOT WELL, B*****
#iykyk
So I did what any blogger would do for their favorite readers:
“Organized” my favorite items. Right into in my cart. *WINK
Made an incredibly time-intensive graphic, which took 137 hours and is ultimately probably unnecessary. But it was way more fun than fractions, and also IT WAS IMPORTANT RESEARCH.
Maybe.
Returned for multiple rounds of NSale shopping, because my graphic tempted me into shopping every. single. time I saw it. (RIP wallets and good credit.)
Me, virtually shopping the sale: THE DEALS Y’ALL. ALL THE DEALS! WHY DO I NEED THIS? WHO EVEN KNOWS! IT LIVES WITH ME NOW. (Earmuffs, John.)
Got distracted from posting more than once, by critical emergencies. For example, Bo wanted to wear shorts, but they were all hurting his feelings. (I get it. My clothes do that to me all the time.) Or like, when AG needed a snack, but the pantry was too far away from the couch, so could I get it? **Btw, I’m totally exaggerating and my sweet little angels would NEVERRRRRR act like that. And on a completely unrelated note, oh HEY, MY DAUGHTER READS MY BLOG NOW. WHAT?! Yes. Hiiiiiiii, AG, I love you! I also hope I’ve taught you to recognize sarcasm. Ahem.)
Anyway, Pandemic Sherri probably can’t really remember how to style real clothes. With buttons. And ZIPPERS. You know, SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE ensembles that involve wearing things like PANTS. But, she’ll learn. So, this graphic is as much for me as it is for y’all…. outfit ideas that are ah-mazing and also ON SALE. I’ve entitled this, “6 Looks I Hope to Wear One Day In Front of People Who Aren’t Related to Me.”
Just start practicing a believable fall onto your keyboard, in which you accidentally on purpose place your order. John says that once the clothes are here, they seem to “somehow wander into the closet, never to be seen again.”
Isn’t it so weird how that happens? #itsamystery
LOOK 1 : first irl meeting
Listen, if you wear a dress, then you will be covered when you realize you’ve forgotten to put on pants. Again. (Also, mixing a floral print with houndstooth is just the power move you need to remind others of your dominance. (No.) Okay, but it WILL remind them that if you can mix prints, you can probably handle anything your job throws your way. (Again, NO.) You will definitely look really cute though.
LOOK 2: Brunch with your friends. in a real restaurant. (or via uber eats and zoom, if you’re fancy like that.)
I couldn’t be more obsessed with all of this, and it’s not NOT currently on my body while I type this. (Okay it is NOT. But I wish it were.)
look 3: (virtual?) pumpkin patching
I’m so desperate to do well, anything fun, I’d even classify the 90 degree, “fall” pumpkin patch visit as fun. I’d welcome the opportunity to sweat my buns off, pay $79 for two perfect pumpkins, all so my kids can throw them at each other. Or leave them in their rooms to eventually rot, and be found sometime mid-January. Ahem.
LOOK 4: FUTURE FALL FESTIVALS
Hey, it might not be worn until 2022, but that’s okay, because this one is SUPER classic. Or just use it to shock coworkers during your zoom meeting. You call it a floppy hat. I call it a power move.
look 5: SURPRISE LUNCH VISIT WITH YOUR KID
Look. This is pure wishful thinking, ain’t nobody getting lunch visits for a very long time, and that’s okay. But, just look forward to the day you do, because nothing says “My mom isn’t to be trifled with” like an all black outfit, plus black leather jacket. And if they accidentally on purpose think you might put a curse on them for bullying your kid, you really can’t be held responsible.
This also might work on husbands. Just sayin.
look 6: The “i’m fancy, but also not”
Nothing says fancy like a beautiful, flattering dress from AllSaints. But then, nothing says casual like the denim trucker jacket and faux sheepskin collar. And white tennis shoes?? Give yourself a slow, loud clap. Because you’ve nailed the “fancy casual” game. *Seriously y’all. The plain white sneaker is everywhere and you all need a minimum of at least one pair, but maybe also 5.
Happy shopping friends! PS, I know some of you have already shopped the sale, since it opens to non cardholders today. But don’t be afraid to check out a round 2 or 3 or NO JUDGEMENT friends, I’ve lost count at this point myself.
Until next time,
