Adulting Survival Kit with Scotties

Scotties Tissues | adulty things | alo jogger sweatpants

Listen y’all, let’s be honest: if you LOOK like you’re old enough to have had a midlife crisis, (or be on the verge of one), people generally assume you are a responsible adult. As opposed to the kind of adult who unknowingly wears her pants inside out for an entire day. Hypothetically. ISH.

Basically, I need an adult of my own. (*My mom happily volunteers as tribute.)

The thing is, when you’re of a certain age, people just expect you to know things. Like, how to do your taxes. How to balance a checkbook. (Millennials be like, what’s a checkbook?? Ewwwwww!) to sew a button onto a shirt. Which my actual daughter can do, btw. She is now my adult. And will now receive the gift of doing the adulting.

AG: Thanks. I hate it.

But like all things in life, we learn to cope. We learn how to manage a budget (sort of). We learn to always have snacks and drinks in our purses because sometimes kids are hangry. (And sometimes adults are hangry too.) And most importantly, we learn to keep Scotties Tissues errywhere. And I DO MEAN ERRYWHERE, unless you want to turn around and find a 5 year old using your ACTUAL HAIR to wipe his nose.

#thingsthathavehappenedtome

Scottie’s are seriously the best tissues around in terms of quality, but also in terms of not rubbing my nose into an irritated, red mess.

(Can I tell y’all a secret? Until I was WAY TOO OLD to actually admit this, I thought “Kleenex” was just another way to say “tissues.” And I sort of generically called all tissues “Kleenex.” In much the same way Southerners call all carbonated beverages, “cokes.” Don’t @ me, unless you can make me feel better about my ignorance. It’s only now in my young, young twenties, ISH, that I understand Kleenex is just a less superior brand, and Scotties is where it’s at. Tis true. My nose and 37 colds last year can confirm.)

I wanted to share a few of my “surviving adulthood go-tos.” I skipped the obvious wine, chocolate, and reality tv, because those are just basic adulting needs. And we aren’t amateurs. Hopefully some of these adulting “staples" make it easier, if not more fun. And if you’re ever in a situation requiring a real adult, just remember to triumphantly brandish your box of Scotties and yell, I HAVE TISSUES! It will trick everyone around you into thinking you are responsible and adulty.

Scotties @ everybody: you’re welcome.

SHERRI’S ADULTING SURVIVAL KIT— BULK ORDER SOME SCOTTIES TISSUES AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.COM.

Until next time,