Lean in close and get ready to be shocked y’all. I get botox. I know, I know. You HAD NO IDEA. I basically showed up at my doctor's office THE VERY DAY I stopped nursing Bo, and was all MAMA NEEDS SOME BOTOX STAT! (Doctors love it when you use medical jargon like stat. About as much as when you tell them you WebMD-ed your symptoms and diagnosed yourself.)
Anyway, way back when I was significantly younger (and more annoying), I was all
Read MoreNo disrespect to grandmas, y'all. I can't wait to be a sassy, fashion blogging, granny #boss one day.
I'll probably still be wearing these pants, to be honest. They're THAT good.
You've probably noticed that floral pants are all the rage on the gram these days. And I get it. Even though I am not typically a florals kinda gal, I adore these. And here's why…
Read MoreThe other day, while visiting my mom and dad, and my mom whips out a cake and says, HAPPY ADOPTION BIRTHDAY! Which I had completely forgotten, because children have sucked all of my brains out like little zombie people. But you'd better believe I"ll take any excuse I can find to celebrate a birthday. I also had a couple of epiphanies (because I'm fancy and say words like EPIPHANY):
1. I am now 26 years old, and it would be RUDE TO ARGUE.
Read MoreYou know what they always say: When life gives you lemons, slap 'em on every piece of clothing you own and wear the heck outta them.
What? Is that not how it goes?
But seriously y'all, lemons are fetch and also EVERYWHERE. They are this year's palm print, if you will. And you will, because I'm the Regina George of this blog.
Read MoreIt's that time of year again, guys. The time of year where ALL the MDW Sales try to come along and steal my cash money away from Nordstrom's upcoming Anniversary Sale. Mama ain't falling for that, y'all.
J/K, mama is TOTALLY FALLING FOR IT. That's what credit cards are for, right?
Disclaimer : Yes, I DO realize that credit cards are bad, and financially irresponsible, and JOHN STOP LAUGHING IT'S RUDE.
Read MoreI know what you're thinking, and the answer is YES. I DO have friends who are really annoyingly pretty. If I didn't love them so much, I would slip 'em Kalteen bars on the reg.
Read MoreIt's Friday, and on Friday, WE FAVORITE. (Except really it's Saturday, and I MAY have gotten up too early to watch the Royal Wedding. And I MAY be wondering if I can trick Bo into thinking it's quiet time already.)
(And now it's actually Monday, because PROCRASTINATION.)
Read MoreBecause I am a highly skilled and super professional blogger, I built this post around a kimono that is NOW SOLD OUT. #bloggergoals #worldsokayestblogger
What I can tell you is this: I have never received more compliments on a piece of clothing than this Asos kimono.
Read MoreI have to start this post with a disclaimer. I know Mother's Day is hard for some of y'all. And for you, I wish I could reach through this computer and give you your OWN DANG mother's day gift. You deserve it. Because you've had to do the hardest work of all. You've had to deal with grief. Or loss. Or maybe you've had to learn to be a mother, when you never had a great example from which to learn. And you are badasses. All of you.
Read MoreListen I hate to say I told you so (no, I don't. I love saying that), but I do believe I called this white boot trend that is veering into actual classic category.
And if it's not, don't tell me. Because I am right. And also because when I find a trend I like, I wear it to death until everyone is sick of it.
White boots for president.
Read MoreThat's right guys. We are celebrating a super important birthday in our house this weekend. And I'll give you a hint. He's turning a number that rhymes with schmorty.
(Also, hi John? For the record, you are significantly older than me. And I plan to remind you of this for the next 2.5 years. mkaythanks.)
Read MoreSpring cleaning is so fun! It's just my favorite!
Said NO ONE EVER. If anything, hoarding is more my favorite than spring cleaning.
I used to have people tricked into thinking I was extremely organized. All you had to do was come to my house, and stay ONLY in the living room. And not open any drawers. Or cabinets. Or the coat closet. Unless you wanted to be subject to my secret hoarding shame.
And I don't know how many of you can relate, but the mere IDEA of buckling down and organizing basically any part of my house, had me needing a break. Because (*Kim K voice) this is exhausting.
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