Posts in Life
surviving June + some favorites

I know, I know, you thought I had disappeared from the blog. And I would just like to do what I normally do when I need to explain myself: blame it on the kids. Or bronchitis. Actually both. This may shock you, but it turns out that kids actually DON’T understand the concept of mom working from home. I mean, they can SEE YOU. Why shouldn’t you be able to get them a snack/play monster trucks/clean up their rooms? I mean, YOU’RE RIGHT THERE. CLEARLY, YOU’RE AVAILABLE. Summer is STRESSFUL on them, DUH. THEY NEED YOU.

*insert ALL THE EYE ROLLS. Every last one of them.

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tradition-ing

One of my absolute favorite Christmas traditions is, oh, um, ALL OF THEM (besides crying baby Santa photos, which is the GOAT, duh). I love creating new traditions as well, although it doesn’t always work out. For example, John didn’t really go for the “Traditional Maxing Out of the Nordstrom Card” this year.

And the whole “Getting Yourself Treats and Pretending They’re From Your Husband” didn’t really go over well either, tbh.

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amazon and appendicitis

Well, sometimes you plan to have all kinds of great holiday content pre-planned and ready to go the moment Black Friday hits. You just KNOW you’ll be super organized and on top of it, JUST LIKE ALWAYS AND WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING LIKE THAT?

#rude #butalsoaccurate

My goal was to plan content for the entire month of December, well in advance. And by “well in advance,” I mean November 29th, because apparently I DO NOT understand my actual personality or my organizational capabilities.

But, as The People Who Make Up Cheesy Quotes once said, Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. And I’d just like to rephrase that in a way that feels more authentic:

Appendicitis is what happens WHEN YOU’RE BUSY MAKING PLANS. x

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last minute costume ideas

Sometimes you wanna Pinterest up an amazing, creative Halloween costume that impresses all of Instagram, I mean, YOUR SWEET CHILDREN, who, have apparently "always wanted a fun mom that dresses up for Halloween."

Good to know.

But then, other times you just wanna justify those new moto boots you bought. Or that camo jacket you’ve been eyeing. Or the red ringmaster coat that a certain someone said was too “extra,” but you just KNEW that one day there would be a highly popular movie about a musically gifted dreamer who opens his own circus. Or ya know. Something like that.

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your best life with botox

Lean in close and get ready to be shocked y’all.  I get botox. I know, I know. You HAD NO IDEA.  I basically showed up at my doctor's office THE VERY DAY I stopped nursing Bo, and was all MAMA NEEDS SOME BOTOX STAT! (Doctors love it when you use medical jargon like stat. About as much as when you tell them you WebMD-ed your symptoms and diagnosed yourself.)

Anyway, way back when I was significantly younger (and more annoying), I was all

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adoption

The other day, while visiting my mom and dad, and my mom whips out a cake and says, HAPPY ADOPTION BIRTHDAY! Which I had completely forgotten, because children have sucked all of my brains out like little zombie people. But you'd better believe I"ll take any excuse I can find to celebrate a birthday. I also had a couple of epiphanies (because I'm fancy and say words like EPIPHANY): 

1. I am now 26 years old, and it would be RUDE TO ARGUE. 

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spring cleaning top 5

Spring cleaning is so fun! It's just my favorite! 

Said NO ONE EVER. If anything, hoarding is more my favorite than spring cleaning. 

I used to have people tricked into thinking I was extremely organized. All you had to do was come to my house, and stay ONLY in the living room. And not open any drawers. Or cabinets. Or the coat closet. Unless you wanted to be subject to my secret hoarding shame.

And I don't know how many of you can relate, but the mere IDEA of buckling down and organizing basically any part of my house, had me needing a break. Because (*Kim K voice) this is exhausting. 

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