anniversary sale tips and tricks

As we speak, the Sale That Shall Not Be Named is about to commence. You may know it by it's other name: The Sale that Causes John to Twitch Every Time A Package Arrives. Clearly, I'm referring to Nordstrom's Anniversary Sale. And since it's the most wonderful/annoying time of the year, I wanted to share a few of my tips and tricks to shop the sale LIKE THE BOSS THAT YOU ARE.

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white jumpsuits FTW

Nothing strikes fear into a mom's heart like an all white outfit. Because, KIDS, y'all. Kids have an internal radar for anything pristine, and will basically find, seek, and destroy. 

They will use Cheeto fingers.

They will use mud and/or dirt.

They will use snot and boogers. 

They'll use things I haven't even considered yet, because THEY ARE TINY SAVAGES

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your best life with botox

Lean in close and get ready to be shocked y’all.  I get botox. I know, I know. You HAD NO IDEA.  I basically showed up at my doctor's office THE VERY DAY I stopped nursing Bo, and was all MAMA NEEDS SOME BOTOX STAT! (Doctors love it when you use medical jargon like stat. About as much as when you tell them you WebMD-ed your symptoms and diagnosed yourself.)

Anyway, way back when I was significantly younger (and more annoying), I was all

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granny pants

No disrespect to grandmas, y'all. I can't wait to be a sassy, fashion blogging, granny #boss one day.

I'll probably still be wearing these pants, to be honest. They're THAT good.

You've probably noticed that floral pants are all the rage on the gram these days. And I get it. Even though I am not typically a florals kinda gal, I adore these. And here's why…

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adoption

The other day, while visiting my mom and dad, and my mom whips out a cake and says, HAPPY ADOPTION BIRTHDAY! Which I had completely forgotten, because children have sucked all of my brains out like little zombie people. But you'd better believe I"ll take any excuse I can find to celebrate a birthday. I also had a couple of epiphanies (because I'm fancy and say words like EPIPHANY): 

1. I am now 26 years old, and it would be RUDE TO ARGUE. 

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living that lemon life

You know what they always say: When life gives you lemons, slap 'em on every piece of clothing you own and wear the heck outta them. 

What? Is that not how it goes?

But seriously y'all, lemons are fetch and also EVERYWHERE. They are this year's palm print, if you will. And you will, because I'm the Regina George of this blog. 

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friday faves : mdw sales

It's that time of year again, guys. The time of year where ALL the MDW Sales try to come along and steal my cash money away from Nordstrom's upcoming Anniversary Sale. Mama ain't falling for that, y'all.

J/K, mama is TOTALLY FALLING FOR IT. That's what credit cards are for, right?

Disclaimer : Yes, I DO realize that credit cards are bad, and financially irresponsible, and JOHN STOP LAUGHING IT'S RUDE.

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mama's day

I have to start this post with a disclaimer. I know Mother's Day is hard for some of y'all. And for you, I wish I could reach through this computer and give you your OWN DANG mother's day gift. You deserve it. Because you've had to do the hardest work of all. You've had to deal with grief. Or loss. Or maybe you've had to learn to be a mother, when you never had a great example from which to learn. And you are badasses. All of you.

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white boots for spring (and maybe also for president)

Listen I hate to say I told you so (no, I don't. I love saying that), but I do believe I called this white boot trend that is veering into actual classic category.

And if it's not, don't tell me. Because I am right. And also because when I find a trend I like, I wear it to death until everyone is sick of it.

White boots for president. 

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